Ever since the death of my grandparents, death and its paraphernalia has become an uber sensitive issue. The slightest hint on notions of death in conversations, television or the radio will yield an atmosphere of awkwardness- brought about by everyone's raging war with their emotions.

It used to be when a tragic scene of death and goodbye is on screen, some will be immersed in emotions while others, including myself, will satirically smile at those who are tearing. Giggles and laughter will follow with 'Its just a movie/drama' kind of remarks.

But now everybody finds it hard to curve a coy smile when a death scene is on. Facial expressions contort while we grit our teeths with deep breaths and a positive psychological monologue. Because we know that all it takes is just one of us to cry and there will be a chain reaction of tears.

In the midst of such situation where it is utmost depressing- the silence, stillness and unease obscuring the fierce battle between emotions. Everyone is at war, but no one declares a battle.

At times I wonder if, during a death scene we watched, our minds are really into the story. It is perfectly natural to draw parallels between the screen and our lives. But what is pertinent is the poignance of death piercing into our hearts, minds and souls.

Everyone will lose someone at some point. But when that someone is so integral in your life, only then you feel the unrelenting bitterness and grieve.

I've felt loss. And everything has been spiralling downwards ever since.