The Truth Will Come Like A Thief In The Night

And being awake I've learnt is the meaning of life.

"The Prophet (may peace be upon him) was the most forgiving person. He was ever ready to forgive his enemies. When he went to Ta’if to preach the message of Allah, its people mistreated him, abused him and hit him with stones. He left the city humiliated and wounded. When he took shelter under a tree, the angel of Allah visited him and told him that Allah sent him to destroy the people of Ta’if because of their sin of mistreating their Prophet. Muhammad (may peace be upon him) prayed to Allah to save the people of Ta’if, because what they did was out of their ignorance. "

One hell of a confused man.

Istikharah tonight I guess.

"There are two blessings which man always take for granted: good health and abundance of time."- Hadith Al-Bukhari

"Forgive me Lord, For I have sinned."

Ever since the death of my grandparents, death and its paraphernalia has become an uber sensitive issue. The slightest hint on notions of death in conversations, television or the radio will yield an atmosphere of awkwardness- brought about by everyone's raging war with their emotions.

It used to be when a tragic scene of death and goodbye is on screen, some will be immersed in emotions while others, including myself, will satirically smile at those who are tearing. Giggles and laughter will follow with 'Its just a movie/drama' kind of remarks.

But now everybody finds it hard to curve a coy smile when a death scene is on. Facial expressions contort while we grit our teeths with deep breaths and a positive psychological monologue. Because we know that all it takes is just one of us to cry and there will be a chain reaction of tears.

In the midst of such situation where it is utmost depressing- the silence, stillness and unease obscuring the fierce battle between emotions. Everyone is at war, but no one declares a battle.

At times I wonder if, during a death scene we watched, our minds are really into the story. It is perfectly natural to draw parallels between the screen and our lives. But what is pertinent is the poignance of death piercing into our hearts, minds and souls.

Everyone will lose someone at some point. But when that someone is so integral in your life, only then you feel the unrelenting bitterness and grieve.

I've felt loss. And everything has been spiralling downwards ever since.

Salam Eid-ul-Adha and Happy Holidays,

Zulqarnain Mohamad(:

This Is An Angry Post

With adrenaline pumping through my veins, I sprinted towards the nearest outhouse in sight. However, when I got in, the raving rumble in my abdomen subsided instantly.

Because some men just can't aim for nuts.

What the hell do they want so that they'll do it right?

A marksmanship badge perhaps?

Damn.

On the way back home walking, I overheard a conversation between a lady and a girl who I presume to be either her daughter or sister. The exchange went:

Lady: Later we buy the (something) ok?
Girl: Taknak ah. I don't want.
Lady: Fuck You. Just now you said you want right?

The girl was only in preschool(!).

Everybody spits profanities at times. But we don't curse in front of our elders and children. Imagine getting cursed at by your own family members when you are only 5 or 6 ish.

Damn. Whatever happened to discretion and decorum.
How are they going to grow up right?

This I Miss

My mother would wake my sister and me up every saturday morning without fail. Eating kaya toast while drinking warm soya bean milk, we'll watch this.



Good times man.Good times.

:)

For The Soul That Lives On

Happy 70th Birthday

How's things so far?

"Death stops life, but not relationship"- Morrie Schwarts

:)

I was wondering what to do on the eve of my birthday. So I decided to do what I haven't did for a long time- played around with Windows Movie Maker. Since its near my late grandfather's birthday, I got the photos from my cousins and decided to make a montage of our clan.

This is my 20th Birthday Gift to the Haron Clan:

:)

What Was History

Despite my birthday coming, I'm in no mood to celebrate.We always celebrated our birthdays together, since his is 4 days after mine. But not this year.

Those pent up emotions got to me during the congregational prayer yesterday. I teared throughout the jenazah prayers for the deceased which I didn't even know who. I fought hard to choke back my tears. But when the Imam started the prayer, it was too overwhelming that I just lost it.

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream.

:'(

HAHA.

Got this email from my cousin. It totally cracked me up.

Note the "Rasa Ayam Babi/Bali".
And its only 50% halal. WTF?

What about the other 50%?

Kecoh dok.

"If it clouds up in the city, the weather man complains,
But where I come from, rain is a good thing."- Luke Bryan

“The World is three days: As for yesterday, it has vanished, along with all that was in it. As for tomorrow, you may never see it. As for today, it is yours, so work in it.”-Hassan Al Basri

The reality is like a bamboo- the further you bend, the harder it will hit back at you.

But then, the bamboo is strong. The reality is strong. Cos' the spirit is strong.

If this is a retribution for our past blunders,

then may God have mercy on us.

Othello, Act 2, Scene 3



Iago is a cunning bastard. To the highest degree.

Was looking through mementos from my college days. Found this, given by my tutor:

"Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." - Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3

How True.

Encapsulation of emotions at its best.

My favourite classical piece since I was fourteen.

"You all have to be independant. Because there will be one day, where I will not be around anymore to care for you guys."-My Mother.

I wasn't expecting that. And I pray that it will still be a long way.

Dear God,
I seek serenity for this heart of mine.

Amin.

Fight and love only to fight again and then love again and then it goes wheeling around.

It's a cycle,
we got our bad days and good days,
Laughter and tears,
Warmth and coldness,
Whispers and Screams,
Winks and glary stares,
Tenderness and hostility.

Name any balancing act, I bet we got it.
Its all about proportion,
Balance,
Yin and Yang.
Whatever you call it.
I'm grateful we developed it,
I'm glad we have it,
And I'm glad,
I have you.


;)

Thank You, God.

Thanks to dad, now I can surf the net almost anywhere. I am currently in the middle of AMK Central as I am typing this out! Shall update later.

:)

Touched By An Angel

A few days back, I was in the toilet to wash away some food stains on my uniform(I'm a bad eater, everybody knows). So while I was frantically rinsing it away, the attendant at my workplace walked in and saw me at the sink. She quickly reached for a few pieces of tissue paper, and dabbed it onto my uniform- absorbing the water hence making it dry faster.

She spoke Chinese/Hokkien to me. I replied to her in English and Chinese gibberish which she barely understood. And yet, she taught me a valuable and important lesson- that language barriers are not a hindrance towards displaying care and concern and should never make us hesitant to help others albeit of a different race/group.

That was the first time an old lady, other than my late grandma, got so close to me.

So small an act. So big an impact. On me at least.

"People can forgive what you did to them. But they won't forget how you've made them feel."- Quotes

You get me, B?

The post blaze footages of Kampung Siglap Mosque are uncannily similar to photos of mosques in war zones- smoke, soot, debris and ashes.

And of course, the enlightening revelation that despite the extensive damage, most of the Qurans were left unscathed is indeed heartening.

Caught hold of an amateur video taken by students from the neighbouring Victoria School. The blaze was an inferno- so bad that the smoke was visible all the way till Kallang!



And to the fourteen-year-old boy who did this:

May God have mercy on you. Because you surely need lots of it. A whole lot of mercy and compassion from Him.

Lets pray that the Kampung Siglap Mosque Committee will stay strong and steadfast. May God be with them.

"We shall test your steadfastness with fear and famine, with loss of property and life and crops. Give good news to those who endure with fortitude; who in adversity say: 'We belong to God, and to him we shall return.' On such men will be God's blessing and mercy; such men are rightly guided." - (2: 155-157)

You Know What Words Do

Dig the way he crudely spits it. Point Blank, right in your face.



"A hungry negro steals a chicken and he goes to jail, a rich businessman steals bombs and he goes to congress. I think that's wrong."

Put on your grey matter and think this through.

If you get my drift.

I am not angry, I am anger

When all the world is at war, we sure need people like him. More than ever.



Freedom is between the mind and the soul,
between a lock and a load,
between the zeal of the young and the patience of the old.

Freedom is between a finger and a trigger,
between a piece and a pen,
between a grenade and a pin.

Word.

All of us are guilty of this.heh:)

But it is a good learning point though.



Makes me think if I want to malinger ever again.

hmm.

2012

Could this be true?


The news is telling me it might.

Anyway, this is the movie 2012, releasing in December 2009.

"Dear God, strengthen our brothers and sisters in calamity. Lead them out of the darkness, for they've got no strength without You. You are the All Knowing, All Wise."

Just when they thought they got it all....

I've come to realise the importance of having a conducive environment to study. As a tutor, I have taught in houses where the television is turned on while tuition is in progress, little kids running around and making a din, blasting music from neighbouring rooms/doors and hence affecting the study mood and focus.

And I couldn't tell them to keep quiet, because if I do, l'll be the instant enemy.

You get my drift.

Anyway, will be at work from tomorrow till thursday.

Till then:)

Astaghfirullah Robbal Baroya

The reason why most of us have an affinity for music is because it can instantly bring back memories-much like a catharsis-to something that the song relates to.


Was Youtubing and I stumbled upon this song. I was listening to this on the passing of my Grandfather. For a moment, it flashed the exact same feelings I had during his death.



And I teared for a bit:'(



Rindu Atok dan Nenek:(

Amal Ma'aruf, Nahi Mungkar

I read The New Paper yesterday and was shocked by the death of a man in the Turf Club.

Worse, the deceased is a malay man and he was there without the knowledge of his family members.

The New Paper shouldn't have put up a full page coverage with the photo of the deceased(passport-like photo, mind you).

Imagine the embarassment and humiliation suffered by the family.

Dear God, help them.

Ramadhan

Today is the 20th of August 2009. In the Islamic calendar, it is 29 Sya'aban 1430.

And we are only a day away from the fasting month. Perhaps we should pause to consider what have become of it- it's meaning, it's future.

I have to specify that I am penning this in relation to Singapore's context.Contents may not apply to other muslim communities beyond our borders.

Here's the norm: the fasting month is approaching. Commercials for the lighting up of Geylang Serai gets airtime on television. Entertainment shows, bazaars and carnivals advertisement jingled with Aidilfitri Songs filled the air and wowed(!) the audience.

So yeah, that's what Ramadhan is about. I wondered what happened to the benefits that fasting brings, its notion of empathy, noble values such as charity and compassion and inter-personal, inter-racial relations that it can foster.Have the nightly prayers switched places with nightly shows?

How come something so great can be so easily bypassed? Save for some dramas and documentaries themed on the fasting month, other programmes had their focal point on Aidilfitri.

Perhaps these are the effects of commercialization. It is disheartening to see an experience which was supposed to cleanse mutate into something so hedonistic. It's like playing down the working part and highlighting the glitz.

The month when we are supposed to improve our relations with God and increase our fervour in worship is manipulated into a cash generator with specific reference to Aidilfitri.

And it is incredibly sad that a month so great and so exalted be overlooked for the sake of celebration in Syawal.

Something must have went terribly wrong. Perhaps, we should start with ourselves. Question our basics, get to the root- Why do we fast? Why the thirst and the hunger? Why the night prayers and intense fervour of worship? Why was there even Ramadhan in the first place?

It would be embarrasing, even degrading, to have a future community who have total disregard for the spirit of the fasting month, inundating it with entertainment, surfeiting it when it should be suppressed.

I just pray that we revert to the injunction for fasting, i.e. to attain piety. Difficulty first, celebrate later.

How could they even dare to celebrate when the war is not yet over?

They gotta have alot of nerve.

God forgive them.